Why politicians have funny names and other ways they make you feel stupid.
From our former health secretary swinging into the jungle to Boris’s bus building hobby, it is hard to view our governing body as anything more than a laughingstock. If laughing over ‘ve-gAn’ sausage rolls got you through lockdown, or parliamentary memes is one of you top searches on Tik Tok, it is time to open your eyes to the bigger picture of all the ‘funny’ things the conservative party does, and their very serious implications.
To be a politician you have to be somewhat memorable, and when your name is some kind of Greek tragedy sounding Eton-College-mess regurgitated mouthful it can be difficult to attract public attention. Take one of the most well-known British politicians: Mr Boris Johnson. No, not your mate Boris with the messy hair from down the pub, not big bumbling Boris from the tabloids but our real, actual, grown-man former prime minister of the United Kingdom. You may be surprised to know that this seemingly idiotic Sun celebrity actually goes by Al among friends — short for Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson. Mr Johnsons appearance and chosen public name is no accident, it is a calculated ploy to come off innocent and sympathetic with the public and he fumbled around with track and trace systems and the impossible decision on whether to reopen pubs or schools first.
This is not the only time that this political leader has attempted to distract the media from his dubious actions. Remember the questionable ‘bus’ story told by Johnson in an interview that is now regrettably part of countless ‘quintessentially British’ media sketch videos as if it’s all one big joke? Well, it is no coincidence that this came shortly after Johnson’s Brexit bus blunder, where he claimed that Britain sends the EU £350m a week that could be spent on the NHS.
Perhaps he makes these buses out of old wine boxes because he had been simultaneously heard in a spat with Carrie about a spilt glass of red wine? Either way these ploys to skew the search metrics and dodge media fire seem to captivate the public as we like to see politicians as relatable members of society who have our needs at heart.
Unfortunately, this is not a ‘Bo-Jo’ only tactic, conservative MPs seem to use a range of distraction techniques from memorable names to comedic outrages. I personally refuse to watch this year’s I’m a Celeb. ITV’s entertainment thirsty watcher-ship are eager to catch Hancock out in a lie or at least a confession about his lockdown affair and wine and cheese parties, sorry: gatherings. I cannot comment on what Mat is getting up to in the jungle, but I certainly don’t think that letting a politician who had such an impact on people’s lives during the pandemic into a reality TV programme as means of gaining public forgiveness is an apt thing to do.
Our home secretary Suella Braverman could have easily picked between Sue and Ellen but decided to opt with a dodgy amalgamation of the two, you know — for maximum memorability; and lets just be honest that we remember Jacob Rees-Mogg far more for his children’s wacky names than for his concerning views on abortion and human rights.
The media undoubtedly fuels this fire with click-baity headlines and scandalous stories and I can’t deny that it’s easier to laugh then cry when thinking about the Tories but in order to see clearly who is in charge of the country it’s important to not get wrapped up in the funny stuff, but instead examine the real reason behind the actions — you don’t get to earn a princely salary of £84,144 by being silly.
